In a quiet afternoon my husband and I sat in the chaos of our minds as we wrestled thoughts and visions. We challenged each other’s faith and the visions we have for the future and for the now, because that is where it always starts… right here. The future is always before us and the past is always to close behind us, haunting us with our failures telling us that the future will be nothing but the same. It is a lie. We must not believe it. He is our hope; His perfection is where we find our refuge from those intrusive thoughts. We will fail tomorrow, yes that is true but we do not find our joy in our performance but in His. We are a beautiful mess. Making music, lives of praise together.
Our minds and hearts danced in the quiet of the afternoon to the voice of the Musician. We find each other’s hands while minds and hearts waltzed to the music, the melody of our long view for our family. Swaying back and forth, I give my thoughts, he gives his, we eventually stop stepping on each other’s toes and meet in unity and rhythm, our hearts mingle in the dance and we find grace. Our steps come to a stop as we realize that it starts right here, right now. The past is where we were, where He had us, where He taught us and what we had to go through to get to the right here. The long view… is uncertain we can only guess, plan, and always trust. Walk in faith, keeping a holy vision. Questions arise… naturally and inflict us with painful inner turmoil, a mystery into the spirit of God over the path of our life.
I read this article at Femina on the Long View, a holy vision for the future over parenting and it gave further food for our thoughts. In our dance, my husband and I came to understand that our “long view” never reaches the extent of His long view, it is very limited and at some point we must simply let go and trust our future with the Author of our story. We try to write out our story with the understanding and wisdom He gives us and then we walk by faith in perseverance and patience knowing and always being willing to re-write our script to harmonize with His.
As of right now our long view is to make disciples of our children, plant our roots in Christ here first, in the heart of our home, in the hearts of our children and each other. We will invest in their lives where we are right now, making time to pour love and grace into their souls. Souls… long term… never ending. Our long view is to see to it that their lives are filled with faith, splattered with joy, painted with grace, filled with Light, inspired to grow and advance, covered in Love and swirled with color.
As far as other plans, we know we are going to Costa Rica in December of this year. Our time is limited here, 5 months. The fears and the heart aches are starting to infect me as reality of leaving sets in hard. From there, our plans are to serve God and advance His kingdom while we learn spanish… for what? To move further South into Ecaudor, Peru, Brazil? Or maybe to move further North and come back to the states? We do not know… that is as far as our long view can see… so we walk by faith, by the Spirit as He gives us the rest of the script as we live lives of praise together, seeking to make disciples and advance the kingdom from the inside out… always starting right where we are, where He has us.
I hope you will persevere with me, with us as I strive to write our story, His story of our lives as we live it out in the flesh…
JOYfully in Him,
Kelli
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