Archive for December, 2009

Being sensible that I am unable to do any thing without God’s help, I do humbly entreat him, by his grace, to enable me to keep these Resolutions, so far as they are agreeable to his will, for Christ’s sake. (volume one of The Works of Jonathan Edwards)

Here lies my heart as did Jonathan Edwards a great puritan mind of the 1700’s. I sit at my little desk I share with my husband in a quiet corner of our bedroom tucked away from all the noise, other than two furry friends with four legs frolicing around. I can feel my heart crying within of all of my imperfections of all my failures in the year of 2009. It has been a year of deeply inflicted wounds and painful healing as I suppose all years will be and have been in some ways but this one seemed above them all in many areas, many times finding myself in a dark room of grief of lost love, time, purity, integrity, light where shadows of the past pluaged my mind and heart drawing me further and further from truth… but through it all I learned… with each bandage I learned the through the deepest pain that the greatest evil comes the greatest glory of the power and work of Christ. As with the crucifixion of Christ was the greatest evil of all time so it was the greatest glory of Christ of all time. Satan and his servants shot his darts at me and my family but the light and truth of Christ and the gospel repelled them back to hell where they belong… and what he meant for evil God meant for good. I am amazed at where we are, at where He has lead us and the work we have seen Him do all around us… all His work we are just His humble servants.

I have been humbled… broken and brought low before my King. I would not take back anything He has put along my path this year because with each one He has given me a step to be conformed more and more into the image of His Son though I will admit and repent that I in my stubborness and hardness of heart didn’t always take those steps in order to escape the pain of self denial and sanctification. I look back and realize now their significance in my growth in holiness and learn now and pray for God to teach me now what I refused to learn then, His grace is sufficient for me a sinner.

So, I ponder the year, reflect on the smudges in the mirror and look ahead to the future. I vow to…forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:13b-14

The upward call of God in Christ Jesus! Keeping my eyes and heart upward. I heard a friend say somthing the other day that has rung and stayed with me: “You are so heavenly minded you are of no earthly good” Glorious! 2010 is a day away and the coming of the Lord is nearer today than it was yesterday, I do not know what this new year will hold but I commit to give my heart away to Him who does know… for now I simply…

Resolve, as a Wife…

to always put my husband above my children and my home.

to love my husband greater then myself  through daily sacrafice of my time and energy to meet his needs and desires.

to build him up to be the man God has created him to be never hindering him in the work of God for my own selfish ambition.

to give him all of my heart and mind, purging anything that has the potential to steal them away from him.

to allow my heart to spill out in my love for him through my affection.

to have a heavenly perspective of my husband as an apple tree among the forest… to always view him as superior to all men.

to submit to and trust his decisions even when I feel in some way offended by or in disagreement with vowing to trust God with my husband.

to always keep the gospel as the center of our marriage.

to reject the 21st century movement of feminisn in all shapes and forms in my role as a wife and be liberated by my calling of being created as a helpmeet divinely and specifically for my husband.

to in public and in private always show the highest honor and respect for and to my husband… seeking to serve him and display the relationship of Christ and his church to all those around and in an earthly way to present the gospel through our example.

to be ready to admit when I am wrong and he was right.

to be an excellent wife who fears the Lord

to never sucumb to nagging.

to always view my husband as my head whether I am with him or apart from him.

to have a joyful heart in his presence an attitude of contentment and peace.

to always do him good and not harm.

Resolve, as a Mother

 to view my children and their sin through the eyes and heart of God…

to, though my heart may not beable to fully understand it, realize that each blessing, each little person, each soul that God has entrusted me with will be cared, nurtured and loved with the eternal  perspective constantly in mind that they belong not to me but to their eternal heavenly Father. I am their earthly parent and have the privilege of giving them back to Him, a high and holy calling.

to view my children as a JOY and not a burden as the world has impressed upon me over the years and continues to try and convince me of.

to always put their spiritual need above their physical needs and never compromise for the sake of discomfort when it comes to the protection of their hearts for the sake of the Kingdom.

to walk carefully in how I discipline and instruct each of them being mindful of their individual personalities and the scriptures as to not devile the word of God or exasperate them into rebellion.

to set apart time to intentionally spend with them just building our bond in this life, taking the time to know who He is molding them to be and to listen carefully so that in the future I can know how to instruct them in His ways not my own.

to find every opportunity to encourage them in godliness.

to patiently endure their evil and seek to overcome it with good.

to always in every circumstance of discipline  and instruction turn their hearts to their need for Christ in love.

to encourage them to be more heavenly minded and reveal the charms and deceptions of this world and their strongholds on their hearts.

to pray fervently and consistently for each of my little blessings before each day and each evening.

to devote dedicated amounts of time each week in training them in righteousness and discipline.

to encourage them in their roles of manhood and womanhood through out each day.

to give them a peaceful and joyful home through my decisions and attitudes.

Resolve, as a Homekeeper

to look well to the ways of my household and not eat from the bread of idleness.

to view what I do in my house as worth as much as if I did it up in heaven for the Lord God.

to dedicate each home to the Lord and his service.

to decorate my home in such a way that would be pleasing to God and not at all seeking to please the world.

to view the dinner table as a place of not just eating physical food but of spiritual food where we join together to weave our hearts together in prayer, feasting, thanksgiving and servanthood.

to cultivate a heart that truly longs to be hospitable, seeking to serve Christ in my home by extending the graces He has bestowed upon us to all who enter.

to guard my heart from allowing my home to become in anyway a kind of idol for me but to always have a humble view of my home.

to buy wisely in providing for ease and comfort in our home reminding myself constantly of not getting to comfortable here and not laying up treasures here but in heaven.

to set aside certain days for certain joyful duties such as baking, shopping, cleaning, laundry, sewing and creating things to aide in our strivings for godliness and faithfulness.

to remember that my home is a creation of a beautiful and simple place and a living organism which becomes, not only for my family, but also for my community a refuge of Christ’s peace and launching pad for God’s righteousness.

Resolve, as a Daughter of the King

to seek Him daily through a quiet time before the dawning of the new day… commiting my ways before Him.

to become disciplined in the spiritual nourishment of my soul.

to be a woman of the word with out compromise.

to follow the Lord’s leading in personal convictions with out hesitation or fear of rejection.

to be so heavenly minded I am of not earthly good 😉

to read through the bible not  to say I did or boast in any way but in order to know God for fully through His inspired word in it’s fullness.

to keep a joyful heart for it is good medicine.

to always have before me “Charm is decietful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Proverbs 31:30

to see every opportunity small or big as a chance to die to self and live simply and powerfully for Christ.

to memorize scripture in a way to always carry His words in my heart to minister, to instruct and simply to transform my mind and heart closer to His.

to seek His will in all things and not my own, surrending my plans and desires for His.

to live in a constant state of brokeness before God, dispising a proud heart.

to pursue femine appeal in this 21st feminist century.

to keep my heart pure before the Lord through prayer and constant repentence.

to imitate those in the past who have set an example of a believer, imitating Christ and encouraging me in godliness.

to read the biographies of Amy Carmichael, Sarah Edwards and Corrie Ten Boom.

to lead a joyful life establishing a new heart for my home and family.

I know it is only by the grace of God and the power of the Holy Spirit that I can obtain any of these and I rest in His provision of grace in these resolutions and His timing. Resolutions have the potential to sit dormant on a piece of paper, computer document page or heart forgotten and left to never be reflected on again, just words… just longings. I pray that will not be the case here as I have a true longing to earnestly and intentionally follow through with these. I am going to post them in a place where they will be reflected on weekly and not left to be forgotten.


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9 Slices:1 Fruit

It is important to remember that these are multiple characteristics of but one fruit and are therefore inextricably related to one another. They are not produced nor can they be manifested in isolation from each  other.  John MacArther


I don’t feel like I can stress it enough to my hard heart that the fruit of the Spirit is but one fruit… thinking of an apple if I were to divide it into 9 slices and took one away it would no longer be a whole apple (a little math lesson for you), the same is true for the fruit of the Spirit I can not look at 8 of the character slices and leave out one. Another important truth I must repeat to my heart is that this fruit is not a request from God of how I can have a better life… though that is true in one sense, we are as children of God born of the Spirit commanded all 9 manifestations of the fruit of the Spirit.

The question is now before we meditate on each slice, each character commanded by God for His blessed children are we ready? Are we ready to bear and manifest much fruit (John 15:8) in our lives by being receptive to the Spirit? Is our heart softened and willing to surrender all to His leading with not compromise? Each of the 9 slices are going to cause much turmoil with in our hearts as His light reaches and pierces the darkness, the sin and unsurrendered areas. It is going to be painful but through pain we will soon find the joy of surrender, the joy of the Holy Spirit.

While Christians are not spared suffering, they are promised deliverence from sin and the inner resources through the indwelling of the Holy Spirit to live a righteous life in Christ. Rhonda H. Kelley

Remember that the same Holy Spirit that dwelt in Jesus, that hovered the earth in Genesis, that raised Lazarus and Jesus from the dead is the same Holy Spirit that lives in you, in I. The power that we see through out scripture, that we sit in awe of is living with in us, did you realize that? Our flesh can not compete. Also remember that in every case, Jesus is our supreme example.

…the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control… Galatians 5:22-23

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The Fruit

Have you noticed that it is not fruits of the Spirit but the fruit of the Spirit? It is singular, one piece of fruit from the living tree of God. We are not going picking the fruit of love, the fruit of peace and patience but of one piece of fruit… love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control… as we taste and see that the Lord is good through His fruit we must realize that we are not given the chance to pick one and leave the other… they all come together and we are to possess them all! And the first slice carries them all together, it is the core of all the others as the law is fullfiled in love so is the fruit of the Spirit.

I know I have gotten lost somewhere in the vineyard of God’s fruit bearing word… left Galatians 5 for awhile but came accross it again my my travels and have begun sitting under it’s green branches again. There is a strong reality that I was reminded of this morning after reading a quote by John MacArther…

Fruit-bearing is not a matter of being strong or weak, good or bad, brave or cowardly, clever or foolish, experienced or inexperienced.  Whatever your gifts, accomplishments, or virtues, they cannot produce fruit if you are detached from Jesus Christ.  Christians who think they are bearing fruit apart from the Vine are only tying on artificial fruit. They run around grunting and groaning to produce fruit but accomplish nothing.  Fruit is borne not by trying, but by abiding.   John MacArthur

We must not assume that because we belong to Christ and His Spirit lives with in us that we automatically obtain the fruit of the Spirit… nor can we strive for it each day to simply obtain it we must abide in Him… in the Word to produce fruit. If we are abiding in the Word… drawing deeper and deeper into His character and nearer into His presence then as a child molds to his parent we also should mold to our Father through His Son by the power and work of the Holy Spirit in our hearts.

The fruits of the Holy Spirit are, it seems to me, largely fruits of sustained interaction with God.  Just as a child picks up traits more or less simply by dwelling in the presence of her parent, so the Christian develops tenderheartedness, compassion, humility, forgiveness, joy, and hope through “the fellowship of the Holy Spirit” – that is, by dwelling in the presence of God the Father and Jesus Christ His Son.  And this means, to a very large extent, living in a community of serious believers.   Robert C. Roberts

As we meditate on the fruit of the Spirit let us never forget that it is through sustained interaction with God that produces a harvest… not self will. Abide in Him and He will abide in you.

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Merry Christmas!

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Baby/Christmas Catch Up

I have taken the last 3 days (tomorrow already included) to catch up on all of my laundry, which was a monsterous task to say the least. I have been very relaxed in housecleaning. I found out November 29th that we are expecting our 4th blessing from the Lord so I have not been feeling up to doing anything much less cleaning, lol. I am praying that this so called “morning” sickness which means all day mostly at night sickness for me, will leave me at the 3 month mark. I hate feeling like this and neglecting my family.  Tomorrow is the 23rd and on Thursday I turn 29, even though I refuse to feel anything other than 24, although my body is argueing with me. Christmas this year for us has been a new experience in so many ways, I have had to let go of a lot of expectations I had for this fun time of year considering my sickness as well as many other things. I have learned and continue to learn a lot through His leading… I am looking forward to our very family Christmas. This is the first year we have lived in the same town as most of our family, it is going to be full of lots of food, giving and visiting.

May God bless you today!

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